Always from Afar, I'll Always Admire You
by Hyou
Summary: This is a oneshot of Takato's forlorn love for Ruki. This hints at a Rukato coupling, but doesn't really happen.


I've been off color for a while...a lil romantic problem. yeayea, corny, stupid, etc. i know. but i just had to get this feeling off my chest, at least in writing. I'll be using Takato as an emitter for my word and stuff. oyea, this'll be a Rukato btw. and i'll be using Ruki Makino, the japanese name for this fic.

and, yes, this is based on truth you stupid knuckleheaded ninnies who cant understand this is real emotion...

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, belongs to Toei Animations.

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**Always from Afar, I'll Always Admire You**

**Takato's P.O.V.**

_I've always admired her, her charisma, her voice, the way her eyes flash dangerously at whoever ticks her off. _

Makino, Ruki, the object of my fantasies. She's always been able to capture my attention. Even from the first moment I saw her in my dreams where she took on the Lynxmon without flinching. Of course I thought it odd that she killed Digimon without remorse, but I grew respect and admiration for her.

_She didn't take crap from anyone, get in her way, she'd let you know in an apparent way._

The way she called me names and came up with nicknames for me. I had always hoped that that was a hinting that she might be interested in me as well. But so far...it seems just like a forlorn hope. But I still never failed to admire her from afar, always afar...I love her, I love you, Makino, Ruki.

I don't know when I first developed this love for her, but...it feels so normal, familiar, a homey feeling as though the feeling of love and affection had always been there. Since the time in the Digital World, we've been through alot together. The incident with Megidramon, you stood by me and helped bring me to my senses. During the final battle against the D-Reaper, you cried out my name in shock and concern when you saw I was in danger. When Parasimon took control over you, I risked life and limb without a second thought, I just knew that I had to protect you no matter what. We've shared so much, and yet we seem so far away...why do I feel like we are still worlds apart when we've been through so much together? Why am I so obsessed with you? Why do I love you? Why does my innocent love hurt so much?

_You only hurt the ones you love._

I grinned sarcastically when that phrase came to mind. I might have once taken that in a way that suggested that Ruki did like me "in that way".

A rumble above me brought me out of my deep reverie. I looked up to see extremely dark clouds gathering above me. A fitting scene for such a lonely heart. As I looked up into the sky, rain came pouring down. And not just a little rain, it was a torrential deluge. People passing by me shook their heads. I caught snatches of conversation, "It's a really sad thing to see kids like him. Homeless." They shook their heads and went on their way. I would have flipped the bird at them, I'm no orphan. And I absolutely do not need their sympathy.

I resumed my walk and ponderings on Ruki.

She wasn't exactly the most attractive person in looks or personality. But she had an exotic quality about her. She seemed cold and uncaring at first, but when you got to know her as much as I do, she is the most sensitive and caring person that ever existed. Her eyes held a warm depth in them, a certain sparkle that gave her an exotic quality.

_It's the way you walk, the way you talk, the way we always hang out with each other, enjoying each other's company. _

_I can never muster up enough courage to tell you how I feel. I never could. That was my mistake._

I was shocked when I heard the news.

_Makino, Ruki, daughter of world-reknown model, Makino, Rumiko, has finally found a lover. Will this blossom into eternal love?_

Saying I was shocked would be the understatement of a lifetime. When she told me, it was during our two year anniversary of hanging out after Ruki's birthday. It had been a wonderous party, all of our friends were there. I was trying to act natural so I would be able to hide my feelings for Ruki. I was trying so hard, I failed to notice that Ruki and some guy I saw from time to time were getting uncomfortably (to me) close to each other and holding hands under the table. After the party, Ruki grabbed me and marched us right out the door to our special spot under the cherry tree in her backyard, next to the small pool filled with koi.

_I've always wanted to tell you, how much I admire you and still do. About how much I love you._

"Hey, Takato?" I stopped babbling on for a second. She sounded like she had something on her mind that was incredibly important. "Yeah? There something wrong, Ruki?"

She looked embarrassed and was blushing a bit. She seemed to fidget alot. "Can you...keep a secret?" When she said these words, I knew something would happen, something that would either make or break me. But I currently had the "make me" vibe coursing around my head. I actually began to think that she would reciprocate my love for her. I began blushing as well as I said, "Sure, of course I can!"

_Those words you said, they broke my heart and killed my will._

"Adam and I...we've just become boyfriend and girlfriend."

_A forlorn dream was finally put to rest. My reason to live, taken from me. My love..._

"Takato? Are you alright?" My eyes began to tear. I turned away and quickly answered, "Yeah, I'm fine...It's just that...it came as a surprise. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone..."

I stood up suddenly, so suddenly that even Ruki seemed startled. "I've gotta get going, I've just remembered my parents wanted me to do...that thing."

I all but ran from Ruki's house to, not my home, but to my sanctuary. I ran to Guilmon's shed and finally broke down. I began bawling, I didn't care who came by, I was too absorbed in drowning out my misery.

_I love you, I hate you. I really really hate you...but that only makes me love you even more..._

I began avoiding Ruki as much as possible. I began to become anti-social, making up excuses to avoid going to all the Tamers weekly meetings. When I found out that Adam would be there, I suddenly had a feeling that our meetings were overrated.

_You're breaking me...you've destroyed me utterly..._

My friends began to worry about me. Everyone, even Adam, came over often to check up on me. I hated it. But then you came. When you came, I nearly broke down from memories of you, from all the things that we used to do. The forlorn, innocent, and pure hope that we would one day become what you and Adam have now. She must have sensed it because she walked over to me and enveloped me in a tight hug. I instinctively grabbed her tight and began to cry on her shoulder.

I really wished that she would have hit me then and there. Then it would feel as if everything were back to normal.

Ruki rubbed my back, comforting me to some extent. "Do you feel any better, Takato?" I murmured a reply, "Yeah...Thanks, Ruki."

_Whenever I was with you after the event, I always felt like a nonentity...even when we were together, we were never farther apart. _

We sat in awkward silence for a few more minutes. Ruki shifted a little, "Do you...want to talk about what's wrong?"

I hastily shook my head, a little too hastily. "I don't want to talk about it, it's...personal..."

Ruki gave an understanding nod, gave me one last hug, and left without another word.

_You tell me you understand...you could never understand all that you have put me through..._

After that, I began to come out of my little shell and re-introduced myself to the outside world. I began to accept that Ruki would never be mine, although I'm still on the road to recovery. Even if I could never be with Ruki, I could always be her friend. It was kind of ironic, I wanted everything to be normal, and right now, normal meant me watching out for her and being nothing more than a friend. Normalcy was a double-edged sword.

But...at least we could be friends again.

But I never fail to admire you and love you from afar...always from afar...

_Forever, my love...Always forever, I will love you forever...I'll always be a shoulder for you to lean on._

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I felt really sad about this girl I really like. How Takato feels in this one-shot is exactly how I felt and still feel

As promised, my second fiction was a Rukato...or was hinted at one.

well, reviews would be nice, so please boost my ego...


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